Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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