It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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