Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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