I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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