Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
