I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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