P.S. I can't hear my feet
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
