dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
