You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
