just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
