Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
