Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
