hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
