When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Panties = found
Randomize