You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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