he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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