so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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