i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
