I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So many bounce houses so little time
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
