i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
