We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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