I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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