I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
