And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize