Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
