I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
