It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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