He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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