you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
