even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
