Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize