How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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