That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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