I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
