i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
