She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize