Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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