due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
