Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
