Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize