its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
