Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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