dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
