Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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