No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
