remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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