Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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