areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize