Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
