I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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