Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
