I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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