Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
