so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
