I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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