That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
