Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have feelings that need drinking.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize