ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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