is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
