Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
