i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
