when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
