you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
