found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
